“You’re not making his game, are you?” his wife asked as soon as she came on the line.
“Before we get into that,” Preston started, hoping to corral the path of the conversation before it flew off the tracks.
“You broke your promise to your son to be a bigger participant in his life,” she stated flatly.
“I’m working hard to make that happen. You know I am. I just—”
“You broke your promise to me you’d do this for our son.”
It was out there now. He knew she’d been harboring resentment towards him ever since he’d dove in headfirst after Pierce to start their own investment firm. Preston had wanted to bring up that she’d broken her own promise to support him while he was laying a foundation for their future, but knew that’d just lead to an argument that’d get him nowhere.
“He needs his father,” she insisted. “You don’t see it because you’re never here.”
Preston just stood there, clutching the phone, forcing himself to take it. He didn’t feel numb. Numb would’ve been preferable.
At least if he felt numb, he wouldn’t have felt like a failure.
“I’ve been letting him stay out late with friends because I’m looking for anything to distract him from the fact that you’re not here. When he’s home with nothing to do, he just waits by the phone for you to call.”
Preston flinched at the imagery. “It’s tough for me too,” he said softly, hoping she’d find it in her heart to be understanding.
“You’re a grown man. He’s a child. Your child!”
He loathed that she was forcing him to see himself as the bad guy. He was pursuing the American dream, going into business for himself, building a company from scratch, something he could pass on to Robert when the time came.
A family legacy.
“If you keep missing out on these moments, you’re going to regret it.”
“I do regret them.”
Every last one of them.
If it were up to him, he’d never leave his son’s side. Robert was the most special thing in his life. He wanted to celebrate everything with him, whether it was learning to ride a bike, or the birth of his first child.
But he had to sacrifice these precious moments. Preston couldn’t remain at his old firm. He’d been fortunate enough to survive the latest round of layoffs, but the longer he stayed, the more likely he’d be sacked as the company scrambled to save a sinking ship.
The last thing he wanted was to end up like his own father, a slave to the whims of management. Sure, his father spent plenty of time with him, but that was because he always found himself searching for jobs. His father usually held onto a job long enough to pay off the debts he’d accumulated during his previous unemployment stint.
He’d had plenty of opportunities to seize control of his own fate, but did he ever actually do it? No.
“If you don’t change soon, you’re going to lose him.”
Preston didn’t want to follow his father’s path. He didn’t want to lose the ability to retire because he had a mountain of debt to pay off. He didn’t want his son to regret not spending time with him in his golden years, when they would both know the time he had left was short.
He didn’t want Robert to resent him the same way Preston resented his own father.
“I will change,” he said. “I am. You’ll see. In time you’ll see. We almost got this account. Things will be easier after. I’ll still have to make these presentations, but they won’t be as often. We just need to get this account so we can pay the bills. And put food on the table. Get off of the ledge, you know?
“You’ll see. When I’ve got a job waiting for Robert, you’ll see it was all worth it. And when I’m grooming him to inherit what I’ve built, and he doesn’t have to struggle to choose between work and his own family, he’ll appreciate what I had to give up to make life easier for him.”
By the end, he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more. Her, or him.