The driving force behind my determination that I needed to keep sequences short was because through the extensive outlining that I do, I knew what was coming up in the story. Plotting things out, I knew there would going to be some sequences that I wanted to be longer, as they were pivotal moments in the story, and I didn’t want to rush through them.
There were four such instances for me in the script: the opening, and then the end of each act, the last one being the big shootout that you typically saw at the end of Westerns. These sequences would be more than just action, like the ones that book ended the story. They would also be introducing or killing key characters in the story, while also giving important details about the world this story was taking place in. Also, these sequences would include a lot of characters playing out their own story arcs as they pursued their own motivations, which would be aligned with some characters and be in direct opposition to others.
So when I wanted to ensure some sequences were written as efficient as possible, it was because I wanted to give these sequences closing out each act as much room to breathe as possible.
And I had now reached the end of Act One.
The premise for this sequence was that Barclay, the main character, needs to simultaneously leave as soon as possible, but also can’t leave until he has money. He – and the audience – will know the urgency behind both of these conflicting motivations, and will then understand why every second he can’t accomplish either adds to the tension.
While he’s working to get the money so he can leave, a minor character will act as a ticking timer for the sequence. If Barclay’s still present when they perform one innocuous act, the world will come crashing down on him.
The last two main characters are also introduced in this section. The first is someone who will actively be opposing Barclay from getting his hands on the money he needs to leave. They’re in more than just this sequence, and their full relevance to the story is set to be revealed later in the script.
The second is the main antagonist, whose introduction I had delayed to this point. I felt adding him here introduces further weight to the shoulders of Barclay as he’s already dealing with his own predicament. The way I planned to introduce the main antagonist felt like it best exemplified his character. He’d already been built up as this man you didn’t want to cross, with characters saying things like “What if he finds out?” and everyone knowing who “he” is referring to.
His introduction would have three people chasing an outlaw into the main antagonist’s establishment, and halting the apprehension when they see he, Harrison, is there. Without any show of force, he simultaneously extorts the outlaw into paying him from clemency while talking the bounty hunters into leaving his establishment until he’s squeezed every last cent from them, down to how many paces they’re to wait outside before they can nab him again.
Even this interaction served two purposes: it introduced Harrison, and also established a new threat for Barclay. If he doesn’t get out with the money in time, there’s now the three bounty hunters, looking to get paid, who would happily settle for collecting the price on his head while they waited for the original outlaw they had been chasing.
It was a fun sequence to write, but I also found myself trying to move it along in a way that conveyed how much time it was taking without it feeling too long to get through. In my unique format of this first draft, it ended up clocking in at 33 pages, which, while reduced for an actual screenplay, was still going to be considerable, and a reason why I needed to shorten other scenes as much as I could