Below is the third section of the general notes I received for my script of Dig Down. This section had concluded with a link to a video, which I have opted not to include in this blog post.
CHARACTERIZATION:
The main characters all have unique voices and styles, they have varied tones about them.
However, you should check your character intros and make sure everyone has these elements –
Character Intros – The Character Intro should try to give us an image of the character while
expressing their mood, emotion or general atmosphere. You also want to describe them in
action in someway – what are they doing. It sets tone and place. You can do this with any small
action. Also, as to the physical, pick the things that stand out about the character or are
important to the story.
I think there are some character mix ups throughout the script. At one time it says Rocco is dead
on the news and that threw me off. Also, the sicarrios need something that differentiates them
a bit, they need character. They need something that makes them interesting or quirky in the
way they work or makes the reader feel more scared for Rob. As it is now, they are a bit bland
and the most rational people in the script. But they definitely need something that makes them
more menacing think of Luca Brazzi in Godfather or the siccario in Breaking Bad. They make
them dark, scary characters who are killers. Check out the documentary on the Ice Man and
how cold this assassin was. These guys need to be scary. Now they just feel like two guys who
have a job to do but that job could also be drywall for the afternoon.
Characters need to pay off in this story in a meaningful way. I talked about this in structure and
will talk more about it in conflict. As it is now, most of the characters are not paying off in a
meaningful way to the story or in contrast to Rob.
So your characters all have strong external stakes. But they don’t really have internal stakes
drawing them into the emotion of the story or philosophical stakes. Let’s use an example. Let’s
say that the theme is love and Rob being unloved. What I would do is writer down every
character – even Axel and the Sicarrios. You may not use it in the script but you will know your
characters better with this method.
I write this every script –
ROB:
External Stakes –
Internal Stakes –
Philosophical Stakes –
Secret –
Now we know the external stakes are his life and future escaping with the woman he loves.
ROB:
External Stakes – his life and future escaping with the woman he loves.
Internal Stakes –
Philosophical Stakes –
Secret –
So what are his internal stakes – he has never been loved by his father. Maybe his wife loved him
at one time but not anymore or maybe she still does but he doesn’t see it. But he believes he is
loved by Axel’s daughter Vicky. So it would this –
ROB:
External Stakes – his life and future escaping with the woman he loves.
Internal Stakes – being loved by the woman he loves – Vicky.
Philosophical Stakes –
Secret –
His philosophical stakes are then that you have to fight and do anything you can to be loved. He
will get her the coke she wants. He will do anything to be successful in his father’s firm to be
loved by his father. You have to earn love by being willing to do anything is his philosophical
position.
ROB:
External Stakes – his life and future escaping with the woman he loves.
Internal Stakes – being loved by the woman he loves – Vicky.
Philosophical Stakes – You have to earn love by being willing to do anything
Secret –
Finally is his secret. His secret is the gold in the case in a physical sense. He kills the one whose
love he couldn’t get to get Vicky’s love with the gold. So the gold should be more important
than being left behind earlier.
That is one secret but it seems there is more. A more internal one we don’t see. How old was
she when he got Vicky? What did he do to get her to love him? This seems where the real secret
lies. We should discuss this. This is the China Town moment in this story that doesn’t play out.
So now you have Rob but you have to do all the others. You may not use everything but you as
the writer will now know everything. This will direct how you write the characters and what
they do.
Finally, check this out – possibly the greatest lecture on stakes I’ve ever seen and will go into
more depth on this than I can here