Hello everyone.
Here are the notes and feedback I received for my screenplay of Dig Down when I submitted them a second time to the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition after I had incorporated the notes and feedback from the judges of three contests:
The audience has been exposed to several well-written and executed thrillers, especially
since the growth of streamers. The challenge of presenting a thriller that is fresh in
perspective and style is more difficult today. Dig Down is surprising, compelling, and
unpredictable in the best of ways.
It takes a while to understand the structure but as it all starts pulling together, it makes for
a satisfying read. Direction has a huge role to play in bringing this structure to life and
will make it visually simpler in connecting the dots. The key twin timelines with Rob at
the center of the action are fascinating, and as the timelines converge the puzzle comes
together. One reveals Rob as the monster and the other as the hunted. It is an unusual
structure and is crafted well.
The flashback within the flashback, however, can be somewhat dizzying. The flashback
sequences are disparate cutaways of different characters connected with the investigation
of the coke haul, politicians, SEC manipulation and El Volcan. It is a risky device but if
visualized cleverly it could pay off because the threads come together in the end. The
structure is designed to keep the suspense alive. There are also flashbacks like the ones
where Axel and Rob are speaking on the phone with sequences building their relationship
in the past. Flashbacks like these in an already layered structure could defeat the viewer’s
patience and should be reconsidered.
Another area where the writing could get attention is the dialogue, which can sometimes
sound stilted and detracts from the emotional pitch of the narrative.
The relationship between Rob and Preston could be written with more nuance so that the
ending is not only shockingly brutal but emotionally cathartic as well.
The use of humor to diffuse tense situations is used effectively for example, in the scene
between Office Hastings, Sgt. Stogey, Rob and the Shark. It is great when that unhinged
jaw comes a full circle at the end when Rob suffers a similar fate and is unable to speak.
The script is promising and the odds of a contemporary filmmaker opting to make it are
high.