Blog

Hello everyone,

Just a quick interjection to the saga of my screenwriting journey that I’ve been chronicling for the past year…

Over this past weekend, February 1st to be precise, I just completed the first draft on a new screenplay.

I won’t get into too many details for now, and as is typical as part of my writing process, I’m going to be taking some time away from the story so that when I do return to it, it will be with fresh eyes. I’ll let you know when I do resume working on the script.

But, for those who have loyally been following along with all the twists and turns of my screenwriting journey, I will share the name of the screenplay I’ve been working on…

Every Outlaw Needs Tall Tales

I’ll continue to interject updates to this project within the timeline of my screenwriting process as they happen.

Until next time.

I had re-entered Dig Down into the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition because I was familiar with the criteria and categories they used for scoring, and because I knew with the deadline only days away, I would get that feedback quickly. I had also done so because although I had gotten great feedback in my first round of contest submissions, I didn’t know how well I had implemented that advice. So when I get the scoring back for my script this second time, I was…

…disappointed.

What led to this feeling wasn’t that I had scored lower than the previous submission. Since my goal had been to see how well I incorporated the feedback and notes I’d received, my hope would have been to have scored higher, as that would have given me the feedback that I had done it well, and in that case, I would have felt more assured that the reason I had placed as a finalist in the Page Turner Screenplay Competition was that there was just another script that the judge’s believed in more. But, if I scored lower, that still would have been fine, because at least then I would have known I didn’t do a good job incorporating the notes.

The thing was, although I scored lower, it was only by a point.

This actually was worse than if I’d scored noticeably lower. At least that would’ve given me some direction, even if it was to stick closer to the original submission. Or, even if most of the scores were the same, and only one category was lower, I could at least address that by keeping that aspect closer to what my previous draft had been.

The problem for me was that I scored lower in about as many categories as I improved in. I dropped by a point in Pacing, Dialogue and Emotional Response/Investment. But I had risen two points in Concept/Originality.

This mixture of results also presented no easy solutions to regain the points I’d lost and improve the overall scoring of the script. I had originally scored a 6 on Concept/Originality, and believe I got it to an 8 by expanding on the backstory of what led Rob to this state–but in order to do so, that elaboration created more time between tense sequences, which I believe led to Pacing dropping by a point. This exchange was still a positive scoring-wise for me, but it illustrated how creative choices could work for me in one aspect, but against me in others.

I had almost as many questions as answers, and knew I needed to delve into this deeper before deciding what to do next.

Hello everyone.

Here are the notes and feedback I received for my screenplay of Dig Down when I submitted them a second time to the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition after I had incorporated the notes and feedback from the judges of three contests:

The audience has been exposed to several well-written and executed thrillers, especially
since the growth of streamers. The challenge of presenting a thriller that is fresh in
perspective and style is more difficult today. Dig Down is surprising, compelling, and
unpredictable in the best of ways.
It takes a while to understand the structure but as it all starts pulling together, it makes for
a satisfying read. Direction has a huge role to play in bringing this structure to life and
will make it visually simpler in connecting the dots. The key twin timelines with Rob at
the center of the action are fascinating, and as the timelines converge the puzzle comes
together. One reveals Rob as the monster and the other as the hunted. It is an unusual
structure and is crafted well.
The flashback within the flashback, however, can be somewhat dizzying. The flashback
sequences are disparate cutaways of different characters connected with the investigation
of the coke haul, politicians, SEC manipulation and El Volcan. It is a risky device but if
visualized cleverly it could pay off because the threads come together in the end. The
structure is designed to keep the suspense alive. There are also flashbacks like the ones
where Axel and Rob are speaking on the phone with sequences building their relationship
in the past. Flashbacks like these in an already layered structure could defeat the viewer’s
patience and should be reconsidered.
Another area where the writing could get attention is the dialogue, which can sometimes
sound stilted and detracts from the emotional pitch of the narrative.
The relationship between Rob and Preston could be written with more nuance so that the
ending is not only shockingly brutal but emotionally cathartic as well.
The use of humor to diffuse tense situations is used effectively for example, in the scene
between Office Hastings, Sgt. Stogey, Rob and the Shark. It is great when that unhinged
jaw comes a full circle at the end when Rob suffers a similar fate and is unable to speak.
The script is promising and the odds of a contemporary filmmaker opting to make it are
high.

There were two reasons I had re-submitted my script of Dig Down to the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition to get feedback on the feedback I’d already gotten. The first was that I was familiar not only with their scoring system, but also the level of notes that I would get to give context to their judgment. I would be able to see where they were coming from with their scoring, and I would be able to compare this to the score I’d previously gotten the first time I entered their contest.

The second reason I chose them was because the deadline for their upcoming competition was fast approaching. This meant I wouldn’t have to wait long to get their critique.

Below is how the second draft I submitted fared:

Scores:
Concept/Originality (8)
Structure (8)
Plot (8)
Pacing (8)
Characters (7)
Dialogue (6)
Tone (8)
Conflict (8)
Emotional Response/Investment (6)
Marketplace Potential (8)

There were notes that went along with these scores, which I will share the contents of the feedback next time.

I had entered more screenplay competitions seeking out that elusive first win. I had started to buy tickets for film festivals so that I could start networking — once the writer’s strike ended. I was planning on drafting a query letter for agents, so that once the strike was over, and they were in need of scripts to promote, I’d be prepared with an offer of a screenplay that had already been vetted by several competitions.

While I felt pretty good about where I stood, there was still something nagging me about the latest draft of my script for Dig Down.

The judge for the Page Turner competition had been very supportive of my work, and had offered much more than just surface level advice of ways to improve my script. We had been getting into the deeper levels, of working to develop the characters on an inner and even philosophical level. It had been such a productive meeting, extremely beneficial, and the judge had given me every indication that this was going to place well.

Which it did. As a finalist. But it left me to wonder…

Why didn’t it win?

I didn’t turn in the script at the absolute deadline, there were still a few days left before it passed, but it ultimately didn’t leave enough time for the judge – and not that this was being offered – to give feedback on the revisions that I had made to the screenplay. I had taken the advice I’d been given and implemented it throughout the script, but aside from how I placed, I had no idea how effective I’d been with the changes. For all I knew, I had already been inline to place as a finalist, and the changes I’d made just hadn’t derailed it.

With everything in a holding period – the results from the contests I’d entered wouldn’t be posted for awhile, the calendar hadn’t reached the dates the film festivals were scheduled, and with the strike going on, I couldn’t do anything about them anyway – I wanted to feel like I was still moving forward in some way. I wanted to keep my momentum going.

Although the strike prevented screenwriters from making any deals, I could still enter competitions. And one was coming up, or rather, one I had already entered was offering their summer competition – the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition. They offered the same options for entering the contest as they had previously – a standard entry, one with notes from the judge, and an option to have a Zoom call with the head of the competition to go over the script.

I chose to enter the same way that I had previously, with notes from the judge. I was essentially getting notes on the notes that I’d implemented, but at least now I would have a sense of how well I’d actually incorporated them.

Happy New Year everyone!

Wishing you all the best in achieving your writing goals in the coming year.

May you all find happiness in 2025.