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Hello everyone.

Here are the notes and feedback I received for my screenplay of Dig Down when I submitted them a second time to the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition after I had incorporated the notes and feedback from the judges of three contests:

The audience has been exposed to several well-written and executed thrillers, especially
since the growth of streamers. The challenge of presenting a thriller that is fresh in
perspective and style is more difficult today. Dig Down is surprising, compelling, and
unpredictable in the best of ways.
It takes a while to understand the structure but as it all starts pulling together, it makes for
a satisfying read. Direction has a huge role to play in bringing this structure to life and
will make it visually simpler in connecting the dots. The key twin timelines with Rob at
the center of the action are fascinating, and as the timelines converge the puzzle comes
together. One reveals Rob as the monster and the other as the hunted. It is an unusual
structure and is crafted well.
The flashback within the flashback, however, can be somewhat dizzying. The flashback
sequences are disparate cutaways of different characters connected with the investigation
of the coke haul, politicians, SEC manipulation and El Volcan. It is a risky device but if
visualized cleverly it could pay off because the threads come together in the end. The
structure is designed to keep the suspense alive. There are also flashbacks like the ones
where Axel and Rob are speaking on the phone with sequences building their relationship
in the past. Flashbacks like these in an already layered structure could defeat the viewer’s
patience and should be reconsidered.
Another area where the writing could get attention is the dialogue, which can sometimes
sound stilted and detracts from the emotional pitch of the narrative.
The relationship between Rob and Preston could be written with more nuance so that the
ending is not only shockingly brutal but emotionally cathartic as well.
The use of humor to diffuse tense situations is used effectively for example, in the scene
between Office Hastings, Sgt. Stogey, Rob and the Shark. It is great when that unhinged
jaw comes a full circle at the end when Rob suffers a similar fate and is unable to speak.
The script is promising and the odds of a contemporary filmmaker opting to make it are
high.

There were two reasons I had re-submitted my script of Dig Down to the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition to get feedback on the feedback I’d already gotten. The first was that I was familiar not only with their scoring system, but also the level of notes that I would get to give context to their judgment. I would be able to see where they were coming from with their scoring, and I would be able to compare this to the score I’d previously gotten the first time I entered their contest.

The second reason I chose them was because the deadline for their upcoming competition was fast approaching. This meant I wouldn’t have to wait long to get their critique.

Below is how the second draft I submitted fared:

Scores:
Concept/Originality (8)
Structure (8)
Plot (8)
Pacing (8)
Characters (7)
Dialogue (6)
Tone (8)
Conflict (8)
Emotional Response/Investment (6)
Marketplace Potential (8)

There were notes that went along with these scores, which I will share the contents of the feedback next time.

I had entered more screenplay competitions seeking out that elusive first win. I had started to buy tickets for film festivals so that I could start networking — once the writer’s strike ended. I was planning on drafting a query letter for agents, so that once the strike was over, and they were in need of scripts to promote, I’d be prepared with an offer of a screenplay that had already been vetted by several competitions.

While I felt pretty good about where I stood, there was still something nagging me about the latest draft of my script for Dig Down.

The judge for the Page Turner competition had been very supportive of my work, and had offered much more than just surface level advice of ways to improve my script. We had been getting into the deeper levels, of working to develop the characters on an inner and even philosophical level. It had been such a productive meeting, extremely beneficial, and the judge had given me every indication that this was going to place well.

Which it did. As a finalist. But it left me to wonder…

Why didn’t it win?

I didn’t turn in the script at the absolute deadline, there were still a few days left before it passed, but it ultimately didn’t leave enough time for the judge – and not that this was being offered – to give feedback on the revisions that I had made to the screenplay. I had taken the advice I’d been given and implemented it throughout the script, but aside from how I placed, I had no idea how effective I’d been with the changes. For all I knew, I had already been inline to place as a finalist, and the changes I’d made just hadn’t derailed it.

With everything in a holding period – the results from the contests I’d entered wouldn’t be posted for awhile, the calendar hadn’t reached the dates the film festivals were scheduled, and with the strike going on, I couldn’t do anything about them anyway – I wanted to feel like I was still moving forward in some way. I wanted to keep my momentum going.

Although the strike prevented screenwriters from making any deals, I could still enter competitions. And one was coming up, or rather, one I had already entered was offering their summer competition – the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition. They offered the same options for entering the contest as they had previously – a standard entry, one with notes from the judge, and an option to have a Zoom call with the head of the competition to go over the script.

I chose to enter the same way that I had previously, with notes from the judge. I was essentially getting notes on the notes that I’d implemented, but at least now I would have a sense of how well I’d actually incorporated them.

Happy New Year everyone!

Wishing you all the best in achieving your writing goals in the coming year.

May you all find happiness in 2025.

As my main character from Dig Down Rob Moore would say, “Typical. F###ing Typical.”

I’d started to get success in my screenwriting career, which I hoped to carry the momentum from into achieving more success in my overall writing career. I had gotten some good advice from the people running the Santa Barbara Screenplay Competition, as they would often hold free webinars on Zoom providing solid advice to aspiring screenwriters in the form of recommending going to film festivals to network.

Only now, with the Writers Guild of America, the WGA, going on strike, networking was off the table. If I went against the union while they were looking to negotiate better conditions for current and future screenwriters, and they found out, I would be blacklisted, with no one in the industry willing to work with me ever again.

I didn’t want to lost the momentum I’d attained, but I didn’t know what else to do.

Luckily for me, the Santa Barbara team managing the competition held another free webinar – this time focused on offering advice to screenwriters on what to do during and how to handle the writer’s strike. This was a very welcome and much needed webinar, and I’m sure most, if not all, of the other attendees felt the same way.

This felt like one of the most beneficial webinars they ever held. They provided context to the writer’s strike, both in terms of the issues being negotiated for in this latest strike, but also in a historical context, as they had been through several of these strikes in the past.

They also gave an example of acceptable networking that could be done during this time, namely joining other screenwriters who were protesting. Even if you didn’t have your own signs, you could still find locations where writers would be picketing and join them, to show support, and to get to know other writers.

They also gave some of the best advice, which was simply to keep writing.

While the above was the best advice, the most applicable advice they gave for my purposes was to still attend film festivals. There were warnings that they issued. Under no circumstances could I network, bring up that I was a writer looking to make a deal, or negotiate one in any way. But I could still attend them, just as an attendee.

This was small, but it felt big at the time. Like most of their advice, I think it put all of us aspiring screenwriters at ease, getting a better understanding of what we could and could not do while the strike was ongoing. It allowed me to focus on developing a game plan for this next phase in my screenwriting career.

I had already bought tickets for my first film festival, and now felt confident in going without any issues. Tribeca was going to be the following weekend. There weren’t many tickets left, but I did buy one package to go for the last day of the festival. The hope was that this strike could be resolved quickly, allowing me to then network in one of the biggest film festivals in the world.

There weren’t many film festivals local to me, or without a reasonable driving distance after that. I also didn’t want to commit to going to film festivals every weekend, especially if this strike dragged on. But…there was the Toronto International Film Festival three months later. Another of the big film festivals in the world, and one that was relatively reasonable to get to, especially with three months to plan for. Just like with Tribeca, although the strike was going on now, it could be resolved by then, with three months to reach an agreement.

After an unfortunate setback, I now had a plan in place to carry out for the rest of the year.

In my previous post, I mentioned that in addition to entering screenplay competitions, I was going to start attending film festivals, with the goal to start networking. I felt it was a sound plan. I was starting to get results, having both screenplays I had written and entered into contests having placed as a finalist. Now it was about getting the word out about this success.

Unfortunately, there was one problem. And it was kind of a big one.

For the first time in fifteen years, the Writer’s Guild of America had just gone on strike.

While this didn’t bar me from attending the film festivals, it would be career suicide to attempt to network at them. If I did, and it was discovered that I had been working behind the scenes, while writers were holding the line to negotiate better opportunities for everyone, I would be blacklisted by every studio who knew that a deal with me would mean that no other writer in the WGA would work with them.

And this happened right after I bought tickets to attend my first film festival. And with the second I had planned to attend, Tribeca, happening the following weekend.

My plans were coming off the rails before they even began.